The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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