He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
