This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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