Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
