Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize