I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
