His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
