The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
