Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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