I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
