Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
