I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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