Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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