No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were destined to go to rehab together
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
