My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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