Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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