Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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