im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
