And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
