I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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