I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize