It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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