That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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