i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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