Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
