i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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