Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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