when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
