Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
