Is it normal to miss your booty call?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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