yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
