the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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