the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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