Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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