We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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