That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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