His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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