I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
