Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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