Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
