I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
someone owes me an orgasm
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
