Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
