Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
