Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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