We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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