i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
