Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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