When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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