isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
