So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
