Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
No subtext here. People are naked.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
