There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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