I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
