Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
