no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
