I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
