I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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